The Bastard Hills of North Bristol

Constitution. Brooks. Marlborough.St Michael's, Nine-Tree. A few words, words with no meaning, no emotion. But add "Hill" to the end of them and something happens. They get a meaning, they come with emotions. Pain, yes, but what else? Fear? Excitement? Anticipation.

A lot of people laugh at the idea of Bristol being a cycling city because of the hills. Why cycle there? It's all hilly!


We say the hills are what make it fun. Copenhagen? Flat. Amsterdam? Flat. London? Mostly flat. Bristol: hilly. Hills that give you a feeling of accomplishment when you get up them, hills that let you glide down them. The only time they aren't so much fun is on a windy evening, when you have to work to pedal down a hill into the rain, a descent you "earned" in the opposite direction in the morning. That is always a bit demoralizing.

It's time to come out and enjoy those hills. January 10, 2010 will be the inaugural Bristol Cycling Campaign's "Bastard Hills of North Bristol" ride. It's going to start in Montpelier, warm up there -Brooks Hill, perhaps, before crossing over to Kingsdown, and so tick off Nine-Tree Hill, Marlborough Hill, St Michael's Hill, one or two others.



Then we'll descend right from the top of St Michael's Hill down to the city centre, try to grab a snack, then it's up Park Street.

Why Park Street? It's the way to Cliftonwood, of course -and the hills there, starting with the one in six gradient climb that is Constitution Hill, and exploring a few more between the harbour and Clifton. Finally: up Bridge Valley Road to finish at the Downs, at the watertower. From there: every way home is downhill.

If you don't like your hills, this is not the ride for you. But if you do like your roads sloping, if you want to go up something steep, turn and go down something equally steep, this will be a fun day going up and down what is known to geologists as the Clifton/Kingsdown escarpment.

1. It's not a race. We'll regroup at the top of each hill, and aim to enjoy it.
   
2. Fix your bike up. Brakes and low gears. Or low "gear", if your bike is singlespeed.
   
3. Work on your hills. One or two. This won't be a distance ride, but you will be working hard for half the ride. Unless you are a fixie rider, in which case you are going to be working hard all the way.
   
4. Avoid putting on weight over Christmas. You can't improve your power output in a few weeks, but you can at least avoid making you power to weight ratio worse by going for the extra helpings of brandy butter with your Christmas pudding.
   
5. Make sure your Bristol Cycling Campaign membership is up to date. The new CTC ride insurance is strict about the number of non-members allowed, and this is going to be a busy ride. You can always join on the day, just turn up early.
   

Because the ride is all in town, it isn't going to be that committing. You can push your bike up -and you won't be alone if you do. If you decide partway through that you'd rather pootle home on the flat, just tell the ride leaders before you back off. Of course, we'd rather you continued to the end, to say "I did it!"

If this event turns out well, we will try and make it an annual event. Also, we could plan another ride, later in the year, where you can enjoy other words that go well with "Hill": Windmill, Rownham, Dundry, along with Vale Street, Totterdown. Yes, South Bristol has its Bastard Hills too.

The Bastard Hills of North Bristol ride begins at 10:30 am from Picton Square/The Thali Cafe Montpelier, on Sunday January 10, 2010.

Start preparing now!

Why cycle round Bristol?

You can drive round the city, if you like sitting in traffic jams, and paying lots for the privilege. If you commute between S. Gloucester and the city centre, you are paying 40 pounds a month or more in fuel alone. Leave the car at home for a month, and that is now saved money.

You could get a bus, but if you have to rely on FirstBus for your bus service, well, you are paying enough to afford a new bicycle ever year.

You can walk, if you live close to where you are going. But it is slow -because you are going at walking pace. On a bike, you can nip out to the shops, buy fresh bread for breakfast and be home almost before the kettle's finished boiling.

You could get a train -these are fast and can have predictable journey times. Funnily enough, bike and train go together very well for longer distances, but in Bristol, there isn't enough of a suburban train system for it to be that useful. Some people do mix train and bike for their commutes, and very happy they are too.

If you commute by car, that thirty to sixty minutes of every day spent sitting in a traffic jam, or sitting at the lights staring at the cars from the other half of the junction that are now blocking the no-blocking part of the junction you cannot enter yourself is a waste of time and money. And it is not exercise, so you need to find a different time of day to get fit, or get used to being unfit and unhealthy. Once you get to work -or to be precise, get near work, you have to start circling round the "secret" roads you've learned about, where there may just be somewhere to park if you are patient enough. Then there is the ten to fifteen minute walk from the parking space to your place at work. And if that secret parking space you have found is not quite legal -it's blocking a dropped kerb, partially blocking a driveway, on a wide piece of pavement- you are left wondering if today you get a ticket -or worse, a towing.

If you have to do the school-run, you are not merely driving your children round the city, getting them used to sitting in traffic jams as a start to the day, you are doing at what is the worst possible time to drive across Bristol. Because every other parent driving their kids to school is also trying to cross the city to arrive slightly before the school day starts, usually 8:45 or 9 am. When you get to the school, you are left trying to find somewhere to park that hasn't been occupied by other parents, then rush the kids in to the playground, casting an eye back to see if today is the one day per term when the traffic wardens issue tickets outside the school. Then it is out of the playground, and into the commute to work. As this is at exactly the same time as every other parent driver in the city is trying to get home or to work, the traffic jam you are now in is even worse than the one to school

Welcome to Bristol by Bicycle!

Welcome to the Bristol by Bicycle blog, bristolbybike for short.

It aims to be an ongoing blog/feed of cycling events in the city, including work-in-progress content of a new guide to cycling in the city that is being put together by the Bristol Cycling Campaign.

Not: politics -go to Bristol Blogger or Green Bristol Blog
Not: satire or criticism of car drivers: go to Bristol Traffic
Not: photos of cyclists in the city -go to Bristol Cycling Chic

This is advice, and upbeat pro-cycling articles. Usually.